Loving You
by GoCryEmoBoy
Summary: Will Minerva recognize her past faults and will Hermione put the past behind her? MMHG femmeslash... rated M for Later chapters
1. Chapter 1

Loving You

The breeze was calming as she walked toward the towering gray building she once called home. The black upon black layered outfit she wore made her sweat but if she wanted people to take her seriously the young and enthusiastic optimism of the old Granger had to go.

As she carried on she noticed that the grounds didn't seem as bright anymore, they weren't as vibrant. Maybe it could have been the way her mind now perceived things around her. Almost everything had a story, a past, a history, a painful heartfelt plea. Like herself, long ago when love was lost she lost control of herself which guided her on the path of emotional nothingness. No love had ever replaced the kind that she had once felt and had not felt since that fateful year, her seventh year at Hogwarts and nothing would ever change that. But now she was back after many years of contemplation and many years of graciously declining invitations to teach at all three witchcraft and wizardry institutions to find a place again at Hogwarts and possibly a place back in her loves heart...


	2. Chapter 2

Loving You

Once she approached the tall oak door she withdrew her wand and pressed the tip to the cold sturdy oak. After whispering a simple incantation the door clicked and shifted to open. Hermione made her way up and into the entrance hall where she contemplated what she should do next.

"Miss. Granger!?" Upon hearing her name Hermione turned sharply around and was met with the plump face of Professor Sprout. The brunette offered a tight smile as she walked swiftly over to meet the short round woman.

"Professor, how do you do?" Pomona, who was slightly taken aback by the young woman's curious demeanor soon recovered.

"I'm quite busy as of late with the mandrake's sudden coming of age, but other than that I am quite good," She replied enthusiastically. "Are you here to finally take that post Minerva has been badgering you about m'dear?"

"Indeed." Hermione replied as the stout professor patted her arm affectionately.

"Good choice, you best be seeing her then, I have to go move those mandrake's around, seems their a little hot and bothered." Hermione gave a curt nod and headed for the grand staircase.

"Good luck Miss. Granger." And with that they parted.

Hermione wasn't the least bit nervous about seeing McGonnigal. Even if it had been 20 some years. Hermione wasn't the one who should be nervous after all. _Not after what you put me through..._ She thought as she climbed stair after stair with her long black cloak trailing in her wake. She approached the stone gargoyle and glared at it with malice.

"Ginger Newt!" She growled. It instantly jumped out of the way and even though the stairs were moving she climbed up them hurriedly. When she reached the door she paused when hearing voices emitting through the door. She heard Minerva's voice clearly now as she stepped forward.

"Well what was I to do Albus?" Minerva spoke softly. In her minds eye she saw the older Scotch woman sitting behind her desk, shoulders slumped and hands held tightly together.

"Only you know what you were to do dear, but I guess, at the time you weren't aware of the consequence your action was going to cause..." Hermione took this chance to open the door suddenly and walk into the spacious quarters. Minerva stood instantly from behind her desk and looked disbelievingly at the tall brunette. Hermione looked around and noted that the office had not changed. All of Dumbledore's knick knacks and texts were all still in place on their tables and cherry varnished shelves. She stepped forward and nodded to both Albus and Minerva who payed her the same respect.

"I understand you have been sending me owls to accept a position here at Hogwart's." She stated looking at Minerva with a steely eye.

"Yes, are you here to accept?" Minerva gazed at Hermione's older face. The glow that once called her iris home had now vacated her brown chocolate orbs. The skin that was once young and soft on the eye was now aged and weathered. Her curves and body very hidden beneath layers and layers of thick clothing.

"I am, if the offer still stands." The brunette replied.

"It does." Hermione searched Minerva's eyes for any ounce of doubt before nodding.

"Good, I will head to my quarters then, and send for my luggage." She swiftly turned and headed for the door. Minerva was soon behind her.

"Wait Hermione," The older woman plead "Do you wish me to assist you?" Hermione stopped quickly, almost making Minerva run into her back, and turned around slowly.

"No thank you Minerva," She stated icily. " I am positive with my knowledge of this castle that I am quite able to find my quarters on my own." With a final glare Hermione slammed the door.

Minerva stood in the same position for a very long time before she turned and slowly made her way to her desk. She slumped down in her large wing backed chair and placed her head in her hands. Albus popped another candy into his mouth and waited expectantly for the conversation he knew they were going to have.

"I don't understand...what has happened..." Minerva stated as she placed her hands on her lap. Albus looked across the room at an empty portrait and nodded.

"I believe you do Minerva." Albus stated, Minerva turned and looked at him perplexed.

"How would I know... How COULD I know?" She retorted. Albus nodded his head across the room to the area which Minerva then too gazed.

"You must remember Severus," Albus began. "And your past with both him and the young woman that recently was standing in the middle of this office right where, I do believe, a young handsome man once stood with the exact same expression on his face." Minerva then understood the older man's suggestive thoughts.

"Tell me what I must do Albus..." Albus's eyes twinkled happily.

"You know I cannot my dear friend, only you know what you must do but remember," He spoke softly while raising his aged hand. "You will not be able to change your past actions, those moments you will not be able to erase not even the strongest of spells can mend wounds so deep, but you can make decisions that can alter your future to be what you always dreamed if you have the heart to do so." Minerva's lips curved into a small smile and she sat comfortably back in her chair.

"I understand Albus."

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Meanwhile Hermione was making her way deep into the dungeons and soon enough she found her rooms. She spoke a small incantation which again had a positive effect since her door clicked than opened. She let her cloak slide off her shoulders and onto a chair but let her knee length black dress jacket remain on. She gazed around the room filled with all things silver, green and black. Slytherin crests filled each room. She felt a strange flicker of satisfaction as she sat down on her black leather sofa but before her mind could finally rest she heard a voice above her head.

"Who may I ask is in these quarters?" The slow low drawl was unmistakably familiar.

"The one who is taking your past post Severus." She replied, she then heard some rustling above her head.

"Again, I ask who is in these quarters?" Hermione stood and faced the portrait. The dark eyes of Severus Snape delved deep into her own. Her lips curled into a sarcastic smirk and waited.

"Granger..."

"Indeed." She replied. His shocked expression was amusing to the brunette as he took in her features.

"You are the new Head of Slytherin House?" He asked incredulously. She turned around and conjured a bottle of firewhisky then poured herself a glass.

"I am."


	3. Chapter 3

Loving You

Severus could hardly contain his snort of disgust as Hermione seemed to stand quite calmly obviously making herself at home in his chambers.

"Granger what qualifies you to be Head of Slytherin?" He spat. She looked over at him with masked eyes as she finally removed her jacket and poured herself another glass of firewhisky.

"If I had to compare myself to you Severus, I would say we qualified equally." She retorted softly. His eyes burned into hers and yet she would not budge. She would not turn away from his gaze.

"I am no longer your student and you are no longer my professor, any look you give me, any insult will have no effect on me," She finished. " Now if you please I need some air." She began to walk to her front entrance but stopped, turned around and went back for the bottle of liquor, then gave Severus a curt nod and walked out of the room. Outraged and thoroughly shocked Severus fled from his portrait but not before yelling with venom.

"YOU WILL NEVER BE EQUAL TO ME!"

The night was cold and dry. Hermione liked these kinds of nights it made her bones ache less than if she were walking the grounds while it was hot and smoggy. Every now and again she would sip from the bottle that hung by her side and with every sip she took she let the burning sensation linger in her throat. Once she realized where she was, laying by the lake, she felt uncomfortable. She felt the gaze of a pair of eyes burning her skin. She slowly withdrew her wand, trying to keep it hidden behind her leg. She heard footsteps and whatever it was seemed to be getting closer.

"Miss. Granger?" Came a thick scotch accent from a few feet away. Hermione stood up quickly, ultimately feeling the alcohol now.

"Minerva, what do I owe the pleasure." Hermione spoke silkily as she wandered forward and into the moon light where Minerva stood. Minerva took in the young brunette's features, she looked so much younger standing there by the light of the moon.

"I saw you from my window...it's quite late," Minerva began. " I was curious if you needed some company." Minerva feared the worse of reactions like the one in her office but before she could apologize and quickly make her leave a hand had found her shoulder.

"Thank you Minerva." Hermione smiled and walked back to her place by the lake, quickly Minerva followed. The older woman's eyes found the close to empty bottle where Hermione lay and it saddened her that the young woman needed alcohol to relax.

"How have you been Hermione?" Minerva asked cautiously. Hermione laid her head down on the cold grass.

"Not well, but I'm afraid I cannot tell you the details of why." Hermione finished. Hermione watched Minerva's eyes wander over her and she knew that Minerva believed she was very much so drunk, but in the past few years it had come so far that now the brunette needed a lot more than just one bottle to be truly inebriated.

"I see dear." Hermione was thinking hard, she had Minerva in a vulnerably position and now being Head of Slytherin house she was not going to let her Gryffendor tendencies get in her way.

"When we were together my dear Minerva, why and when did you decide that it was a brilliant decision to royally fuck me over by screwing Hooch in our bed?"


	4. Chapter 4

By the way, thank you to all who are RR-ing its really awesome and I love you for it. Kisses SheIsMySin.

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Loving You

Minerva sat stock still as she let the question swirl around her mind. How could a question so horrid and vulgar move past blushing lips with a voice tender and soothing. Hermione was now in a sitting position and staring at Minerva expectantly, awaiting the answer she desperately wanted to hear.

"This is hard to explain..." Minerva began, she heard the brunette beside her let out a quiet self deprecating laugh.

"I am no longer a child, you no longer are under the obligation to protect me." Hermione whispered. Tears stung Minerva's eyes as she watched the young woman climb to her feet and stand mere millimeters from the lake waters edge.

"You are very lucky," Hermione spoke softly. "That I have had that bottle, for I would not be here talking to you right now, I wished this conversation could have waited but it cannot, soon you will have to inform me where I went wrong, I can't be here without knowing why you had done what you had done, it pains me greatly, I cannot sleep most nights because I have nightmares of opening that door and seeing her on top of you...," Hermione shook her head before turning back to her old flame. "I have done a great many things that have hurt a great many people, but I don't think I could ever top the great deal of pain you placed in my heart." She walked toward the speechless headmistress and looked into her cat like eyes filled with remorse and regret and a small genuine smile graced her lips.

"Soon Minerva, I wish to befriend you once more, even if it won't be tonight or tomorrow, but soon, but first we need to have this hard conversation and I may get angry and I may say terrible things but know, that even now to this day, my weathered heart beats only for you." And with that final admission Hermione walked back to the castle. She knew that in time she would have to share her story

of what happened after their harsh painful end but tonight she could not. Her secret was large and she doubted the fact that Minerva would associate with her after she had made her large admission, which is why she had to wait.

Minerva sat for a moment until she heard the footsteps get further and further away before her body broke and she was left sobbing into the cool green vegetation that covered the ground. Her chest heaved with heavy breathing and wrenching sobs but soon the Gryffendor in her recovered enough to lift herself to her feet and begin the sloppy footed walk back to the castle. When she reached her quarters, she went straight to her living space where she conjured some tea to sooth her nerves which ended in her falling asleep with tea cup still in hand.

The following morning Hermione awoke to the dark and dampness of the Hogwarts dungeon. She forced herself out of bed and was surprised to feel a familiar sting on the inside of her for arm. She saw lines becoming thicker and more evident. This didn't alarm her in the slightest. She was now use to the horrid pain of a death mark, a dark mark, a large sin against her love. She had learned to live with this. Once she was done dressing quite liberally in her regular dark pants and her dark muscle shirt, she approached the portrait of one Mister Snape and held her wand before it.

"Vortem Incantatum." She spoke clearly and strong. Severus almost instantly appeared in his portrait.

"What do you want..." He asked in a distant and disgusted tone.

"A potion." She stated clearly. He smirked at her lack of expression.

"For what? Got an itch?" He smirked as he gestured to her crotch.

"No you sniveling idiot," She showed him her arm. "For this."


	5. Chapter 5

Loving You

After the initial surprise of seeing Voldemort's mark upon Hermione's flesh, Severus let out a sigh of recognition.

"You know that there is no potion known to wizard kind that could ever cover up such a powerful sign that is burnt upon our flesh..." Severus stated. Hermione nodded her head and quickly poured herself a glass of water.

"That I know, I just was hoping for a concoction to take away the pain." Hermione spoke as she sat down on the sofa in front of the portrait. Severus gazed around the room and soon his dark eyes found Hermione who was clearly waiting for his help.

"Go into your rooms, behind the tall mirror by the wardrobe is a hidden compartment, there is a private store of healing potion it should help with the pain." Hermione quickly got up and headed toward the room, finding the hidden compartment and taking a vial of the greenish blue substance in her hand. She quickly unsealed it and drank all of its contents. The pain in her arm quickly dissipated and she finally got fully dressed, then walked back into the living area.

"Thank you sincerely Severus," Hermione spoke clearly. "It was greatly needed." Severus let show a glimmer of a smile.

"I truly understand the feeling." Hermione then headed toward the portrait hole, but turned back in time to shoot a glance at Severus. Her expression was one of thanks, and his was one of understanding. In the future he had the feeling she would come to him for guidance and he would willingly lend her his experience.

Hermione made her way up to the entrance hall and into the great hall for breakfast. Hermione had expected to see the four house tables in their regular spots, but what she hadn't expected to see was a larger round table in the middle of the vacant looking room. She approached it with caution as she noticed most of the professors around the table staring in her direction.

"Good morning professor." Greeted Minerva. Hermione bowed her head in recognition.

"Good morning." She replied as she sat down between Pomona and Poppy. Both of whom welcomed her kindly.

"I was wondering who the extra place was for." Stated Rolanda from across the table. Hermione raised her cup of tea to her lips.

"You weren't aware that I was going to be teaching her Hooch?" The brunette asked as her gaze burned into the yellow eyes of the older woman who shook her head.

"No, I wasn't." Hooch replied as she cast a glance at Minerva who quickly looked away. Hermione smiled softly as most people around the table who had heard the rumors or knew the actual story were left feeling awkward. Hermione gulped the last bit of tea in her cup and placed it back down on the table while moving to stand.

"Excuse me all for I am done," Said the brunette as she gazed at the ceiling. "I think I shall go for a stroll, the weather looks to nice to waste." Rolanda instantly stood.

"I will join you." She said quickly. Hermione just cocked an eyebrow and smirked. Minerva decided now was the time to intervene.

"No please stay, I'm sure after a strenuous journey that Hermione has had she probably wishes to collect her thoughts alone." Hermione walked over to Rolanda and Minerva who stood side by side and smiled placing a hand on both of their shoulders.

"Why of course not dear Minerva," She stated. "Quite on the contrary I would love for Rolanda to accompany me." Minerva looked at Hermione with knit eyebrows as she guided Rolanda out of the great hall. The two woman wandered out onto the grounds and Rolanda watched Hermione closely.

"I believe we need to have a little chat Hooch," Hermione stated. "But I believe we should walk a bit further." The brunette swung an arm across Rolanda's shoulders and as she did so Rolanda felt something against her ribs, when she looked down she found the Hermione's wand was drawn and pressing into her.

"I pray you won't object...?" Rolanda shook her head and Hermione led her down to the lake for their long time coming conversation.

Minerva slowly left the great hall without a word, she saw clearly through the door that Hermione had her arm tightly around Rolanda. She was sure this was a terrible sign but decided not to run after them. She made her way up to her quarters with Poppy, Pomona and Sybil hot on her tail.

"I can see clearly that nothing is going to happen, you need not worry." Sybil stated with her finger in the air.

"Oh shut up you old bat." Spoke Poppy sternly as they followed Minerva into her quarters. She figured it would be a waste of breath to tell them to bugger off so she just let them in.

"I for one agree with whatever Sybil just predicted," Pomona stated. "From what I heard no one is going to die and no one is going to suffer so it sounded fine to me." Minerva walked over to the window and peered over the grounds. She couldn't spot the two women anywhere. This made her uneasy.

Meanwhile by the lake Hermione finally let her firm grip on Rolanda go.

"I have waited a long time to face you again Hooch," Hermione stated with her wand still withdrawn and pointing straight toward the fearful flying instructor. "A very long time indeed." Hermione began to circle Rolanda like a tiger. The cat eyed woman saw a strange glint in Hermione's eye when Hermione suddenly stopped.

"Forgive me." She spoke softly, before her fist made harsh contact with the unsuspecting woman's jaw. Hooch instantly fell backward and onto the grass yelping in pain. Hermione shook her hand and hissed at the stinging sensation she felt in her knuckles. Rolanda's hand went instantly to her jaw and she flinched when she saw Hermione's hand strike out again. But this time it wasn't to pain her in any way, it was to help the woman to her feet.

"Go ahead, take my hand, I will not harm you anymore." Hermione stated. Rolanda did as she was told and grasped the younger woman's hand. Hooch stared into Hermione's eyes and understood what this meeting was about.

"If I was in your place, I would have done a lot worse to me." Rolanda stated. Hermione shrugged.

"Be that as it may, only I am in this position, and I only needed to get that out of my system." The brunette stated. Rolanda nodded.

"But I must say," Hermione began in a deep throaty voice. "I came back for one reason and one reason only, to get my life back... she is my life... you ever fuck up again and I will be forced to kill you." Rolanda nodded.

"That is not a statement, it is an assurance."

"It will not happen again, I promise you."

And with those finally words the women who had come to an unspoken understanding that their past was now shoved forcefully back in the past where it would remain. Never to be spoken about, never to be thought of again. _Well I'm glad this part is over..._ the brunette thought as they headed back up to the castle to continue their day as four sets of eyes watched them from a tower.


	6. Chapter 6

Loving You

Minerva was jumping three stairs at a time with Poppy, Pomona and Sybil in hot pursuit of her. They slowed down considerably when they heard Rolanda laughing in the entrance hall with Hermione who was in the middle of telling what seemed like an incredibly amusing story. Hooch then looked up.

"Ah, Minerva," Hooch greeted as the surprised Headmistress descended from the last few steps. "You haven't been locked away with those three for the past two hours have you?" The three indignant witches who stood behind the scotch beauty were looking at Rolanda disapprovingly. Hermione stepped forward, her eyes gazing softly into her loves.

"I was just about to come find you," Hermione stated tenderly. "If you wouldn't mind skipping supper in the great hall I would be honored if you would join me in my quarters this evening." After five minutes of intense silence since Minerva was still in shock and awe of Hermione's invitation the brunette shrugged.

"Of course if you do not wish to join me, I am sure Poppy wouldn't mind dining with me this evening." Hermione shot a wink and a smile in Poppy's direction who instantly blushed.

"I will join you." Minerva quickly said as she too stepped forward in front of Hermione. The softness in Hermione's eyes was familiar to the older woman. The look she received from the younger witch had been shared many times before but not since a very long time passed.

"Meet me at seven, not earlier but no later," Hermione said as she quickly reached down giving Minerva's hand a gentle squeeze. "Have a good after noon ladies." The brunette added as she swiftly walked down into the dungeons.

"Well, there is only one thing left for me to do today...," Minerva stated as she watched Hermione's retreating figure. Pomona and Poppy looked at each other with glee and Sybil stood confused. "Find what the hell I'm going to wear!"

"I knew that!" Sybil shrieked as the women bounded up the stairs and back to McGonnigal's quarters.

Hermione's heart beat was violent and fast as she basically jogged back to her quarters. She opened the door to see Severus cleaning underneath his nails with the side of the frame. He looked up and smiled softly.

"I gather the morning went to you plan." He asked with a hint of mischief and to his elation she grinned.

"Even better, I have Minerva coming down here for dinner tonight." She stated, Severus cocked an eyebrow and gave her a partially sarcastic round of applause. He paused for a few minutes as she took off her cloak and her jacket leaving only her white dress shirt and her black trousers.

"Does anyone know about your little issue...?" The dark man asked quietly. Hermione looked at him for a moment, in the process of comprehending the question. She gazed down at her arm and shook her head.

"No, I haven't told anyone yet," Hermione said softly. "Except you of course." Severus let his hands fall to his lap.

"You'll be a fool if you don't tell Minerva tonight Hermione." He stated. She looked at him in surprise.

"You called me by name." The brunette said slowly. He bowed his head in a single nod.

"We are alike in more ways than I have ever wished, I know from experience how hard life without love could be," Severus ventured. "Especially life without Minerva's love." Hermione's head whipped up to look at Severus, her eyes met his squarely.

"Explain Severus." Hermione spoke softly as she sat down on the sofa placed directly across from his portrait. He took some time to gather his thoughts before he began.

"A long while back, actually when I was in my seventh year," He began. "I fell in love with a beautiful woman... a tall, red haired goddess... I was in love with her and I swore she was in love with me... of course it wasn't even my graduation before I shared with her my feelings..." Hermione sat, listening intently.

"I see," She said softly. "What happened." He paused and she clearly saw the pain in his eyes.

"She rejected me," He stated. "At the time I wasn't aware that her feelings or inclinations were more so directed towards women." Hermione's eyes went wide as she finally put two and two together.

"Minerva..." He nodded.

"Minerva." She got up and quickly paced the room. She had millions of questions swirling around in her mind and yet only one could she ask him.

"What was her reaction after you told her that you had the dark mark upon you?" He shook his head softly.

"She rejected me again," This made Hermione's spirits dissipate. "It will be different with you thought my dear." Hermione got up and scoffed.

"Oh really," She asked angrily. "How do you think so?" He smiled tenderly and for the first time Hermione saw the real man behind the pain.

"Because she truly loves you."


End file.
